Monday, April 20, 2009

Balloons, cakes, and angels

Wowsers. Alyssa is turning 1 in less then a month. I can't believe it has been almost a year since the day I delivered two perfect little girls weighing less then 3 1/2 pounds together. I will always wish that Jessica could be here with us, healthy, happy and alive, but I know that this wasn't possible. She wouldn't have been healthy or happy...she is happy watching over us now, and watching over her big sister helping us plan her very special birthday. I can just hear her saying... (if she could talk)

Now Mommy, don't be sad, I know you miss me, and I miss you too, but now is not the time. We have some planning to do, and celebrating, with balloons, and cake, and yes....angels too. My twin sister is going to be 1 year old, and she's done so well this year. She deserves a big party with family and friends and happiness. I've done my best to keep her out of the hospital you know, that's my job...to protect her as much as I can. As for me, I know you won't forget me, but let Alyssa have her day...and then in a month time we can cry together on my anniversary. I love you Mommy....

and I love you too Jessica, more then ever.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

All I can say is YES!!! That angel IS watching over you!! And she leaves these thoughts that tells you she is ok....and where she ought to be...and she loves you loads and feels your love for her and knows you did the very best for her. Take care of her other half, the twin that is just like her.....I so wish I could take away all of the pain....but to not love is worse than to love and lose. Hugs from me always,
Paula

jdm said...

Thanks Paula,
Your comments always mean a lot

xo

Melissa Ruginski said...

I can't believe Alyssa will be 1-year old. Time seems to go by so quickly. I remember visiting you in the hospital when you were pregnant and I said to Dave,"She's the most incredible woman ever! I could never lay there for an undetermined amount of time, just waiting." There was definintely nothing more you could've possibly done. The girls are very lucky to have you as a Mom.