Having a baby in the NICU for a long period can sometimes make you feel like you're cut off from the "real world". Shortly after Alyssa and Jessica were born, the last thing on my mind was making friends with anyone, I had a hard enough time keeping in touch with my other friends. I was there for my babies and to help them as much as I could, I didn't want to miss any time away from them in case something critical happened. But as time has gone on, if I can offer any advice to a new mom going through this experience... it is to make friends with the other moms, talk to them about your experience, find someone who has gone through something similar...your life is the way it is now, so try to make the best of it. These are the people that can really understand what you are talking about when you tell them about your first kangaroo care moment, about your baby starting on cafe late's because of apnea's, about the stench of the CPAP hat, about the neonatologist who is on at the time, about the yummy sweets in the Ronald McDonald room (and soup and rolls on Fridays!!), about the scare of infections and how serious they can be for premature babies, the scare of being on the oscillator...but also the relief when your baby makes it off of it...about all the premie problems; BPD, PVL, NEC, IVH, ROP, etc...
Friends and family are all great to listen, but they don't really understand, and you can't expect them too. They are great to help take you away from the NICU for the moment. Thank you to all our friends and family who have been there to listen and also talk to us about "normal" things as well.
Every thursday at 2:15 near the NICU 1 there is a "snack and chat", something new over the years I think. This is where parents can get together to chat and snack...go figure. And learn about all the different experiences people have went through. Sometimes you want to bite your tongue when you hear a story of a mom who thinks she's really had the worst luck in the world, when really her baby is doing great in the overall picture, but you still listen and acknowledge that her pregnancy or birth was not the "normal" therefore it is scary. Until you have an abnormal pregnancy or delivery, there is no reason not to take for granted the "normal" pregnancy and birth. I actually started writing this blog over a week ago, before I posted that last one. I was thinking some of the same things, and then just found it already typed up so copied and pasted it. I had many thoughts when I started the blog, but because it was started so long ago, I forget most, so let me introduce you to some of my NICU buddies instead.
I've made many friends in these snack and chats and in the Ronald McDonald room. The first person I met was Judyann, she has twins, a beautiful girl and boy. I was so hopeful when I met her my first week, because her babies were born earlier then mine by months but were also 24-25 weeker babies...and after many surgeries and ups and downs, they finally went home a couple of weeks ago and are doing well. The second mom I met was Georgina. She was probably one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met. She could have been having the worst of the worst days, but would always ask me how my girls were doing, and genuinely wanted to know. She has the cutest little twin boys (also born around 25 weeks and in the 1lb range)...and they also went home a couple weeks ago after several surgeries and a major roller coaster ride. These were the two woman, who I envied...because they both went through so much...and their babies were doing well, so I always looked up to them for hope on the really bad days, like when Jessica had surgery, and when Alyssa went on the oscillator. These were also the two people who I couldnt' look at for a couple days after Jessica passed away. I felt like our bond of micropremie twins was gone, and I was jealous...but I got over it, and we still keep in touch even though they are home. My second or third week there, I finally met someone who had a 1lb range baby at the same time as me. Jessica and Gerry, had their son Gabriel exactly a week later then my girls, at 25.4 weeks. We bonded immediately, and have been good friends since...I will be both sad to see them go and happy that Gabe is ready, when they move back to their home hospital. Jessica is probably the person I talk to the most in here, she is also extremely thoughtful and generous...we spend most of our time with our babies, and then we meet up at the desk for pump kits and chat about each others days...Now that we are both in transitional care, it's easier to see each other. Another person I met in the snack and chat who had a great story, was Julie, another great person to be around. She didn't have a micoprem, but she delivered her baby at home...in her bathroom, by her husband and prematurely!! Her stay was short in the NICU, but I think she had an impact on all of us, and definetly added to the fun in "snack and chats". Just recently we met another Mom of twin boys, Audrey Jo, who has been a great addition to the group, one of her boys were in the one lb range and the other in the 2 lb range, and both growing and doing well. This blog has really gone off topic from what I intended to rant about...it was so long ago that I forget...however, now you know a little bit about my little world here, and some of the people that have helped the days go by a little easier. If I remember my initial thoughts, I'll be back.
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